Being a perfectionist is tough

I've come to realize I like everything to be as close to perfect as I can get it. Yes, I am a perfectionist. I am not thrilled about this either. Not too long ago I read some words that have stayed with me. I can't seem to get them out of my head. As a perfectionist you can sometimes put off doing things because you don't feel you can give it 110% of yourself. You know you can't do it the way you want it to be done. Oh my how those are such true words for me. I hate that about myself. I hate admitting that about myself.

I have let things in my home go because I know I don't have the time to do them the way I truly want them done. Not good. So now I am going to challenge myself to do a little at a time. It doesn't have to be perfect. I can work on something for 15 minutes and it really doesn't matter if I finish it or not. If it is exactly how I wanted it to come out. Is this going to be easy for me to do? No. I admit that. I accept that. But I WILL do it. I have to do it. Things are taking over my house and I want it back. So time to get rid of it.

After I became a mom 2.5 years ago I learned how to let some things go. I learned that it didn't matter if my house was spotless because I would much rather spend time with my kiddos. But I really hate being a pack rat. I hate clutter. It is driving me nuts. But I just can't seem to get ahead. I can't seem to get myself motivated enough because I know I won't be able to "finish" the job in a day or two. I truly hate this about myself and would love to change it. It also doesn't help that my hubby doesn't really get rid of anything either. He even keeps like every reciept he gets (sorry M!).

When it was just me I could deal with it all. I could go through things easily and deal. But when it became two people to do this for I kind of never learned to deal. I didn't want to upset him or infringe on his privacy. Then it became four and I have totally lost it. I feel like I am drowning half the time. I can't stand it. Must do something about it!

Okay, so I have been a TERRIBLE blogger this year so far. Just so much to keep us busy throughout the day. But will attempt to get better at updating again. I seem to go through these funny phases. Since the boys stopped napping last Fall it's kind of tough to fit it all in for the day and by the end of the day I am mentally worn out.

Today would have been my dad's 74th birthday. So hard for me to believe he has been gone almost 8 years already.

The blinking light

The little red blinking light on my phone. It can be very addictive. Instant gratification. I send an email and get one back within minutes at times. No more having to sit on the computer for an hour each night just checking emails. But you know what I love the most about being able to check my email throughout the day like this? Not having to deal with as much junk email at the end of the day. I can sit down and do what I need to do and save some time. It has really cut down on the amount of time I get on the computer. I used to make sure I got on each night just so I could check email. Ahh, the technology age!

We had some beautiful weather today! It was wonderful to be able to get outside and enjoy the sunshine. I had forgotten how muddy our backyard was when I made the decision to go play in the backyard. What does Little Bit do immediately? Play in the mud. It was funny. They had a good time and we got our bath out of the way before dinner. I have fond memories of playing in the mud as a kid. I hope they will too! Who knows...maybe I'll even play along with them.

I want

We are hearing this A LOT these days. I even made the comment the other day that Christmas this year is going to be interesting. Last year all they asked Santa for was a train. This year I think they will both be talking his ear off with their lists! They kind of crack me up with it. They will sit and look at the Thomas or Cars book and say they want this or that and then comment on the ones they already have.

It's pretty cute actually. But it does make me start to wonder. Am I spoiling them too much? This has been on my mind a lot these last few days. Little Bit had been talking for several days about an orange race car. We had no idea what he was talking about but he kept saying he wanted it. Finally on sunday (while he was sick mond you), the light went off for me. He had seen it the other day when we were at the store and now that we have all the main characters of the Cars movie he has branched out to the lesser known ones. So because Hurricane was so wonderful while we dealt with sick Little Bit and I needed to go to the store anyway I decided they both deserved a car. So off I went.

I got home and gave them the car and they were excited as can be. Not 3 hours later Little Bit exclaims, "I want the white race car now. " Um, what happened to my child who was perfectly content when he got a new toy? I couldn't believe this. It just kind of smacked me upside the head.

So I have come to the conclusion they are now old enough that I can start making them "earn" so to speak their new toys. So today when they get home we will be creating a stick chart (well, I'll be creating it shortly, we will discuss it when they come home). So every day they pick up their toys when they are supposed to and don't fight me on getting dressed (this has become really not fun in the mornings), they will get a sticker. I just haven't determined how many stickers they have to get before they get a reward. And I will not always make it a toy I have decided. Some days it may be ice cream or something fun to do. Hopefully I am on the right track in teaching them about not always just being handed something. I don't want them to just expect things but to understand that you do have to earn things in life.

I know I am a pushover on some things because of my own upbringing. But I do have to be realistic here. I can't just give them every single thing they want. Can you tell I am trying to justify this in my own head? It's just now that they can actually really communicate to us it has been a whole different world. One I am not familiar with yet. And once again I am constantly questioning whether or not I am doing this "right." Ugh, they really should come with manuals!

So I leave you with this cute picture of Little Bit building towers. See, they really do play with something other than just trains and cars. :)

Stomach woes

Wow, it's March already. Can't believe it! Poor Little Bit was sick on Sunday. I thought we had avoided the dreaded stomach bug around here but I was once again proven wrong. I felt so bad for him. He would want to eat or drink but then a little while later it came right back up again. Poor little guy! So needless to say I have not downloaded photos from my camera in several days. Actually since the last time I posted. Must do that tomorrow.

This is how I found Little Bit tonight when I went in to turn off his light.


I had to laugh. He cracks me up. I'll give it to him though, he listened and didn't come out of his room. I guess it's been nearly a month now they have been in toddler beds and for the most part they are doing okay. They have tested the waters though...especially this last week. So looking forward to Spring and Summer when they will just be plain worn out at the end of the day!

So why is it that the cable/phone companies can just screw you over once your "package rate" has expired? I call this morning beacuse our rate has gone up almost $100 in just 6 months. Crazy. The first guy I spoke with told me there was nothing he could do. So I called back a little later after talking to hubby to cancel some things on our service. The girl I spoke with was most accommodating and actually did something about it. Go figure. So we got our rate lowered, same services we have now plus additional ones. Now can you tell me why that is?