Oh wait, isn't that supposed to be rainy days?
So very much is going on and I feel like my head is spinning most of
the time. Thankfully at least this time it isn't literally like it has
been in the past. Ha! Where to even begin? I guess I will just start
where I am at this particular moment in time and take it from there.
now I am a little mad, frustrated, irritated, and even smug. Why? What
are any of those emotions trying to teach me? That is what I am trying
to figure out.
The day started off just fine for a
Monday morning. Got the boys off to school with minimal craziness (at
least for us), came home, got dressed, was actually getting things
accomplished around the house and THEN....the phone rang. Yep, it was
the school. I didn't even see it coming. How stupid could I be???? I
should have saw this coming miles away!
I mentioned the
whole fighting with the school thing. Well, they are obviously going to
do everything in their power to keep things in check and also to prove
their point. I get that. BUT, again I am back to not understanding this
whole thing about me not being in the building. Ugh. Guess I will have
to cover that in the next post. Because actually, this evening that
isn't even what is really bothering me.
So, of course
after that call, I go into Mama Bear mode and start really getting
things crossed off my to do list. Good and bad from the afternoon was I
found out a huge pile of paperwork I was attempting to complete was
actually out of date and would have been useless, but bad is that I have
to fill this paperwork out yet again...twice (one for each child). So,
add that to my little frustration list for the moment.
this is what got me though. Why can't I just let this go and be happy?
Here goes. My husband has been less than supportive on this whole
journey with the kids and my own health issues. He is trying at least
now, but this is what is getting to me. Yesterday he wanted to take the
boys to this special needs soccer thing. Hey, I am all for it. I have
tried several times in the past to get him to go and he never would. But
this time, HE is the one who sought it out so of course we HAD to go do
it. Ok, I am trying really hard to be supportive of his little steps he
But the real kicker for me is that
everything since yesterday afternoon has revolved around him and this
soccer thing yesterday. How much the boys loved it. He keeps asking the
boys about it. Like asked Hurricane repeatedly if he showed off any of
his new soccer moves at school today even though Hurricane didn't think
twice about soccer today. I really want to support my husband and be
happy he is finally trying to understand. Really. But the thing that
pushed me over the edge tonight was after the boys went to bed. Husband
made the comment that Hurricane was rather calm this evening. I said yes
and mentioned how great he did this afternoon with Little Bit. How he
even told Little Bit that they needed to talk out their problems. I was
so proud of him. So Husband says, I wonder if the soccer had anything to
do with his big change. WHAT???????? Seriously? I just wanted to make
an extremely sarcastic remark about how yes, that must have been what
they needed, to kick a soccer ball around for an hour with some other
special needs kids. Now all their problems are solved and we will have
the answer for world peace soon because of it. Ugh!
how do I get past this? How do I make myself find what this is trying
to teach me from this experience? Because right now, the steam coming
from my ears is kind of making it a little hard to think logically.